Red Planet Prize - Second Round Announcements

Well, I gather people have started hearing if they're through to the next stage of this year's Red Planet Prize.

I haven't heard anything, so I guess no news is bad news, right? But maybe it's a case of 'not heard yet', so I'll just keep clicking F9 to refresh my e-mail Inbox for a few more hours yet.

I know David has made it through, any other folks heard good news? Congratulations if you did.

UPDATED TO SAY: They sent an e-mail this afternoon, which is good, as it stops me wondering if I'd missed a vital e-mail. A nice touch, I think, as whether it's yes or no, it prevents me waiting needlessly.

A Post For Those Of You Who Hail From The Americas

Just a quick note to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving - if you're reading this, after all, you have access to the internet, in what I presume is a safe location, and you probably know where your next meal's coming from, so indeed you (and, being in the same position as I type this, I) have much to be thankful for.

Have some roast potatoes for me!

Sliced Penguin

Penguin Books have made the first chapters of a fairly impressive number of books available for free download, under the name Penguin Tasters (presumably a poetry will soon do a similar range called 'Poetasters'... hmm, maybe not).

Anyway, they're available here - they're PDF files, but if you have an eBook reader or similar, you can download eBook versions here.

Incidentally, if you do have a Sony eReader or Amazon Kindle or the like, what's it like? Every time such an item is launched I see various reviews and promo pieces, but I don't think I know anyone who's ever actually used one. So, a first-hand report would be interesting - anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

Okay, Maybe He Didn't Say It, But…

Quoted on the Guardian Media site today, Barry Norman says in a recent interview:

"People started coming up to me saying, 'And why not?' and giggling. I was always baffled. I never said it! Rory Bremner said it when he was impersonating me on his Channel 4 show. I still defy anybody to find a programme where I did use it…"

Writing in 2003, Barry Norman 'said':

"And Why Not?"

Not entirely unkeen on the phrase, then.

Six Days To Write Six Words - Six Words To Sum Up A Lifetime

In case you hadn't seen it, or had forgotten that the deadline was looming, just a quick note to remind you that The Guardian Six Word Memoir competition closes on midnight on Sunday.

I've entered it (though I don't think I can provide you with a direct link to my contribution, the site seems slightly oddly set up), and I found it fun, though it is actually slightly challenging - though it's tempting to put something irredeemably flippant (which, some might say, would be in line with my life as lived so far), I also felt slightly as if I ought to try to do it properly… whether I succeeded in this, I guess others will ultimately decide.

Anyway, if you haven't had a go yet, why not do so?

(Link swiped from Laura, I should confess.)

Sex! Sex! Sex! (...Yep, That Should Bring In The Google Traffic)

If you want sex - good sex, hot sex, steamy sex, the kind of sex that makes your insides tingle and your brain feel like it's been squeezed tightly by an ice-cold hand, well… well, you've come to the wrong place. This is only a blog, after all, and it's early on Sunday morning.

What I can offer, though, is Bad Sex. Well, details of this year's Bad Sex In Fiction Award, anyway.

You want it? Then put your 'pointer' here.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to roll over and go back to sleep.

Touting Myself, and Pimping A Friend

Well, after much promising and even more delaying, the new version of My Website is up and running. I won't pretend it's a state-of-the-art cutting-edge site, but hopefully it'll prove useful for people who are trying to track me down or scout me out for writing purposes.

More exciting, though - and certainly much prettier to look at, with pictures and everything - is the news that my friend and wedding photographer Toby has had some of his pictures made available for sale online. For a very reasonable fee, you can buy a royalty-free image of one of his photos, and use it to your heart's content.

Toby's stuff can be seen and bought here, so if you're looking for a good picture for whatever reason, it's worth a look. In fact, if you're looking for a photographer for whatever reason, I can heartily recommend Toby - he's a friend, yes, but that's because he's friendly, as well as being very skilled with the lens. You can contact him via the above links, I believe, and please do tell him I sent you.

BBC Radio Drama Q&A

So, as mentioned last week, last night was the BBC Writersroom Radio Drama Q&A, at a BBC building near Marylebone here in London. It was being recorded, and a transcript was mentioned, but in the meantime here's my report on it - it's not a full breakdown, but hopefully it's of interest.

The event was hosted by Kate Rowland of the BBC Writersroom, and featured Sarah Daniels and Kwame Kwei-Armah, both of whom have written extensively for radio as well as stage and screen. Both of them were articulate and amusingly candid, and gave a lot of useful insights into the business of writing. Talking about how he got into writing in general, Kwame said that as an actor he realised the best way to play the roles he wanted would be to write them, and that he had a need to create the stories he wanted to see.

Sarah, in reference to the radio medium, said that she felt it was the best medium to write for, because as a writer you had the freedom to take the story anywhere in space and/or time, as there's a sound effect for everything you could possibly write. She stressed, though, that it was important to focus on writing good drama rather than thinking in terms of writing for radio, as there could be a tendency to overdo the FX side of things.

Kwane echoed this, adding that due to the absence of visual cues on the radio - he cited the example of one character looking at another knowingly - he enjoyed the challenge of 'negotiating the medium', and finding words to convey emotion and the like.

Talking about the opening moments - and for writers, this would equate to the initial pages - Sarah urged everyone to make sure that there was something, no matter what it was, to hook the listeners' attention within the first couple of minutes. She pointed out that whilst someone who wasn't enjoying a play would probably wait until the interval before leaving, with the radio it's all too easy for a listener to switch channels, so you need to hook them in quickly.

Both writers agreed that one of the huge benefits of working in radio was the fact that you invariably worked with one person as Script Editor / Producer, compared to the multiple levels involved in, say, TV. Kwame used the phrase 'multiple frustrations' to describe the way that he'd previously had contradictory notes on his non-radio scripts, especially when they came from the same person.

Kwame pointed out that, as opposed to necessarily having to paint some kind of aural soundscape, it was possible to make a radio play very intimate, and he drew attention to how Sarah's work contained what he called 'space around the words', which I thought was a rather evocative phrase (reminds me of the comment about music being the gaps between the notes, which I think was said by Debussy).

Sarah admitted that she'd never been good at getting up early in the morning, and said that one of the best things about being a writer is that "you never have to do 'really early' again", a comment which drew laughter from the audience, even if it was probably slightly tinged with envy.

Discussing the issue of self-censorship (for example, when basing characters on, or portraying, real people), Sarah told about how she'd once removed some rather barbed material from a play she'd written, and it had actually been better for it, though Kwame had a contrary experience; to prevent his central character being too purely and unfeasibly heroic, he'd needed to add in some 'human foible' to the character, and had worried that this might have offended the last living relative of the person in question (it hadn't). He suggested that it was a question of negotiating your overall agenda as a writer - if you have a specific stance or point you want to voice - and how this could be balanced with the needs of the story and the characters. In a similar vein, Kate Rowland added that it was an important skill for writers to be able to self-edit.

Tying in rather nicely with his ealier remarks and bringing things full circle, one of Kwame's closing comments was that a good question to always ask yourself is "Is this something I'd enjoy?"

And that's my summary of the event. It was interesting, and did - as I'd hoped - spur me on to get on with the radio play which has been sitting on my hard drive, half-done, for… well, too long. Certainly glad I attended - it cost nothing to do so, and they were dishing out free drinks and notebooks - though it was amusing to spot, as I have at such events before, that my preferred choice of notebook, Moleskine, was very much in evidence. I think they're really good notebooks, but they do seem to be fairly ubiquitous amongst writers (though that might be testimony to their usefulness).

One slightly disappointing aspect of the event for me was that various people seemed to be less keen to take advantage of the opportunity to ask questions of the proper, living, breathing and more importantly professional writers in front of them, and a bit too keen to ask Kate Rowland questions about the process and policies of the BBC Writersroom - specifically, about issues relating to the rejection of their script, the background of the Writersroom readers, and that kind of thing. I thought this was misjudged, and I actually felt bad for the two writers, as they were sidelined in the overall discussion whilst Kate replied, explaining things which I felt she shouldn't have had to get into in that forum. There's enough information on the Writersroom site to answer most general questions, and if you've got a specific question about it, that's something to ask Kate afterwards - like the writers, she was available to chat with afterwards - and as there was a limited timeframe, I felt that this was a waste of time and opportunity - perhaps this is the self-editing so vital in writers that was referred to? (He wrote, at the end of a lengthy paragraph, as the words and irony weighed down on him…)

Anyway, it was a good event, and I even got to chat to Mr Beckley (who's not one millionth as terrifying as his profile photo might suggest), and bumped into an old workmate (hello Jessica, if you're reading this), which was a pleasant surprise, as when I worked with her I hadn't known she was interested in writing.

So, all in all, I'm very glad I went along.

The Importance Of Clarity In Gift Requests

My mother-in-law and my neice have both asked for a CD called 'The Promise' for Christmas.

I shall have to be very careful with the gift tags, or great disappointment may ensue...

Pay Some Attention To The Man Behind The Green Curtain. Er, I Mean 'Black Cape'...

Apologies if this is old news, but for those of you who felt that 'The Dark Knight' was a very good film, you can now download a PDF copy of the script. Given that it's hosted on the Warner Brothers site, and it's a WB film, I'm pretty confident this is legit.

So, to see how it was all done, click here.

Dear Television Santa

Dear BBC,

I gather that the character of Nick Cotton is due to return to EastEnders at Christmas.

Please could you arrange it so that he doesn't appear at the end of the Christmas afternoon episode, say "'Allo, Ma" before the doom-doom-doom drums, with the scene being continued in the evening episode?

If nothing else, it would be worryingly similar to the "Hello, Princess" return of Den Watts in 2003.

Lots of love,

John

The Persistence Of Memery

Well now, I seem to have been memed, by the ever-charming Mr Hale. Let's have a look at the question:

Sod Richard and Judy. Sod Oprah. What would you advise people to read? Name your favourite:

(a) Fiction book
(b) Autobiography
(c) Non-fiction book
(d) A fourth book of your choice from any genre.

Explain why the books are essential reads in no more than 30 words per book.

There's a challenge, but let's see if I can answer (almost certainly, I'm an opinionated swine), and do so within 30 words (almost certainly not, it's painfully obvious to everyone that I suffer from logorrhoea)...

Fiction: To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. A clear storyline, and strong characters make this a book to get lost in.

Autobiography: Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig. Often difficult and complex, but never dull, you might argue it's not really an autobiography, but there's a lot of interesting stuff in there.

Non-Fiction: History of Western Philosophy by Bertrand Russell. I was on the dole for a while, and reading this bent my brain out of shape, which was just what I needed. A slog, but worth it. Honest.

And any other book: The List Of Seven by Mark Frost. A well-written thriller, with theosophy, Arthur Conan Doyle, and many other aspects rolled into one. Full of clever twists, I could read this over and over. In fact, I have...

Just like Chris's reply, this is my list for now, and could well change if you asked me again... ooh, in three minutes. That said, I do urge people to read the above books.

And I hereby pass the baton of this meme to Jon, Laura, and Lara. Would be interested to know your recommendations, folks!

Gilliam Of The Damned

Is it just me, or does the poster for this 1963 film look like a Terry Gilliam animation for Monty Python's Flying Circus?

Sometimes Events Intervene And Create An Unfortunate Conjunction Between Their Name And Their Creator

(Click to enlarge)

As Penelop Pitstop Might Say: Hay-elp! Hay-elp!

I'm once again calling on the techie expertise of you good people, I'm afraid, but you're smart folks, and I like to think you might be happy to share your wisdom...

Can anyone out there recommend any writing templates which are compatible with Microsoft Office 2007 and Vista? The freebie BBC Scriptsmart templates, good though they are, seem to be incompatible with this set-up, and I'm having a hard time finding some comparable templates to download.

(Yes, yes, I know I'm a fool for not having a Mac, and I ought to splash out on Final Draft or something similar, but I have a PC and thus have to live with it, and I'd rather not lash out the £100+ on FD this side of Christmas.)

Any assistance much appreciated - I'll owe you a drink (tea or something stronger, your choice).

Thanks!

Within A Mere Twenty-Four Hours! Oh yes!

In case you thought I was being a bit excessive here, I would politely point you towards the front cover of today's Sun...

If only I could turn this power to the lottery numbers, eh?

BBC Writersroom Event: Radio Drama Q and A

You might already have seen about this, but if not (and I hadn't until this morning), next Thursday (20th November), the BBC Writersroom are holding a free event on the subject of Radio Drama.

In attendance will be two writers who've written for radio (and stage and TV), Kwame Kwei-Armah and Sarah Daniels, and they'll be answering questions.

The event starts at 6pm, at the Marylebone Conference Centre in London, and you have to book a ticket (though, as I say, they're free) - full details on how to do this, and more information about the writers attending, can be found here.

I think I'll be going along - anyone else likely to be there ? Do let me know...

Press Release: To All UK Tabloid Newspapers

From: PR Office, ITV Productions
Subject: I'm A Celebrity… 2008

Dear All,

By now, you should have received yesterday's press release confirming the details of this year's line-up for I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, and we're sure you're just as excited about the new series as we are! (If, for some reason, you didn't get the press release, you can download it, and the rest of the press pack, by clicking here).

All the information you need to run coverage of this year's show is in there, so you should be able to get a good two or three pages' worth out of each episode. And whilst we try to answer all questions you might ask about the show as soon as possible, we realise that, what with there being three blonde women in the show this year, it does mean that some of you are quite rightly asking "Which woman are we supposed to write about when she takes a shower on day two this year?"

As we can't predict which of our three lovely ladies will provide you with some bikini-based cheesecake, we hope the following template will cover all possible eventualities (delete as appropriate to create the paragraph to accompany the picture, which should be at least two-thirds of a page, as in previous years):

Headline:
IT'S CARLY ZUCK-AHHH / DANI BARE / NICOLA Mc-CLEAN !

Text:
Saucy Carly Zucker / Dani Behr / Nicola McLean sent temperatures sky-high yesterday in I'm A Celebrity as she stripped down to a skimpy bikini to take a shower!

The sexy WAG / TV Presenter / WAG took the cold shower to cool off, but instead steamed up the camera lenses with her antics! A show insider said "She's a sexy girl, and when she just stripped off and started showering, the boys in the camp - and the crew - could hardly believe their eyes!"

Carly / Dani / Nicola 's partner is a footballer / restaurant owner / footballer, so she probably can't wait to get home to their mansion / eat some proper food / their mansion, but in the meantime it looks as if she's getting used to life in the jungle. Experts say she's tipped to be in the top four, but we'd say she's in the top Phwoar!

Hope this helps!

Best

ITV Productions

PS - If you want to take a more alternative angle, you can find one of the contestants pictured after a rather different kind of shower here

"But Surely," He Said, "The 'X Factor' Is A Simpleton's Way Of Referring To Einstein's Cosmological Constant?"*

Anyway, let's take a look at the previous couple of winners of ITV's song-based talent contest:

2006 Winner: LEONA Lewis
2007 Winner: LEON Jackson

It's 2008, and the final draws nigh (so I gather - I'm not following it). Is there an entrant called Leo this year? If so, worth a tenner at the betting shop, surely?

*Yes, yes, I know it's lamda, but if Albert can fudge his equations, I can do the same with my post titles.

Yes, I Know That Some Sources Say It Was 616

Welcome, all, to post 666 on the blog.

Whether this is necessarily somewhere where you can get your kicks, as the picture suggests, or if that a person who has understanding will count the number of the blog to be 666, I don't know.

Either way, I hope you don't find the blog to be evil in any way, and that if you can't get your kicks here, that you may at least find something of interest.