Saturday, May 23, 2009

You! Yes, You! I'm Asking You A Question! Speak Up!

When you're as old and jaded as I am, you gradually come to accept that there are certain events on TV programmes and in films that just don't happen.

The example I usually turn to is that of the 'dance-off' amongst disagreeing groups of people, which I have never ever ever seen anything even vaguely approximating, actually taking place out there on the streets. Lord knows I'd like it if people were more willing to settle their ideological differences by busting some funky moves on a street corner by a fire hydrant with a boom box, but unfortunately people seem more keen to use knives and guns and bombs than diplomacy or a good old-fashioned groovin'. Sigh.

Anyway, one thing which shows up in films and on TV quite a bit - and which is certainly more easy to replicate in the real world - is that of someone (usually a woman) throwing a glass of wine in the face of someone else (usually a man who's been behaving like some kind of rotter). Aside from a story I vaguely recall from the 1980s about Anna Ford chucking wine at a TV executive who'd fired her or otherwise acted the cad in a professional sense, I have to say that I have never seen this this in real life, so I wanted to ask : have you ever seen anyone do this?

The first person I asked in this very scientific poll was m'good lady wife, who astutely observed that many people wouldn't want to waste wine on someone they disliked that much, and would probably just throw a punch instead. I can see the logic of that.

So, can any of you report having seen a fine wine arc through the air to land on someone's mush? Perhaps a glass of Pino Grigio was flung facewards by a friend of yours, with dry-cleaning-requiring results. If so - or if the answer's emphatically NO - please let me know by posting a comment. I'm keen to know if this event actually occurs, or if, like ship captains performing marriage ceremonies, it's naught but a fiction within fiction, as it were.

3 comments:

Piers said...

I have had a glass of wine thrown over me by an irate girlfriend, upset that I was kissing another woman at the time.

Happy to help.

While we're on the subject, a friend of mine told me that, when upset, she once went to the shelves in her room and swept all of the things from them in a fit of rage before collapsing on the bed for a little cry.

Still missing:

- a law enforcement officer forced to hand over their badge and/or gun to their boss
- a tragically mis-heard conversation causing two people who have recently become lovers to break up

Any more we need to collect?

Michelle Lipton said...

I once emptied a can of pop over a boy's head on the school bus.

He deserved it.

Since I've been old enough to drink wine, I don't remember specifically throwing it over anyone. However, having drank too much one night I did punch (and break) a window in anger.

I know! And I'm usually such a mild mannered thing.

Ooh, I have also seen people throw pints of beer over each other, does that count?

John Soanes said...

Piers, my collection's still missing:

- Someone storming out of a room, closing the door behind them, and falling against it

- People facing in opposite directions (or one facing the wall) while arguing

- A retired criminal doing 'one - last - job...'

Michelle, I think that counts. Though given the strangeness of school and its rituals, some might interpret that as flirting!

J