Look, This Is Just Getting Stupid Now. Would Any Book Designers Care To Put Me On A Retainer Or Something?

Friday, 6.53pm, a designer is on the phone:
"Look, I know I said I'd be home in time to say goodnight to the kids, but I... no, it won't wait until Monday, it's got to be done before I go home.
What? Oh, I dunno, it's about a Chinese policeman or something... anyway, I need to - what? Hang on... yeah, you might be onto something there, actually.
Yeah, I can do that - just take that Japanese novel from a couple of years ago, and maybe take off the knife... hmm, still looks a bit similar, someone might notice. Oh, I know, it's a thriller, I'll just colour the whole image red. Brilliant. Blurbs top and bottom... and I'm done.
Yeah, yeah, all done now, tell the kids I'll be back in less than an hour.
Yes, I love you too. Bye."